Baby Doing Same Thing Over and Over Again Middle of Night
Parenting guide
What to Do if Your Sleep-Trained Baby Stops Sleeping
One of the biggest misconceptions of parenting is that you'll only have to sleep train once.
Credit... Jack Sachs
This guide was originally published on May 20, 2019.
When my second child began sleeping through the night at 6 months, the entire family started high-fiving. Unfortunately, as soon as we celebrated his first birthday, those calm nights became punctuated by cries and shouts twice per night — and we were back at square one.
Turns out, we weren't the only family facing that nightly dread. A 2018 study out of Canada and published in the journal Pediatrics, for example, found that of almost 400 infant sleeping patterns analyzed, nearly 60 percent of the 6-month-olds and 43 percent of the 1-year-olds did not sleep through the night. Another (albeit small and old) study of 118 mothers of infants published in 1991 found that babies were actually more likely to wake up regularly during the night at 9 and 12 months than they were at 3 or 6 months.
One of the biggest misconceptions of parenthood is that you'll have to sleep train — or teach your baby how to fall and stay asleep — only once, said Nicole Johnson, founder of The Baby Sleep Site, a website and app devoted to improving baby and toddler sleep. Many things can knock kids off their sleep patterns: learning to talk or walk, being sick or even taking a trip. In response, many parents will deploy the cry-it-out method, which involves putting your baby down and waiting for her to fall asleep by herself in hopes that she'll re-learn the route within a few days, said Johnson. "Sleep habits are just like other habits," Johnson said. "Just because you remind a child to 'chew with your mouth closed' a few times doesn't mean you won't have to remind that child a year later of the same thing."
In addition to reading five scientific journal articles on baby sleep regressions, I consulted two pediatricians, an infant sleep researcher and a pediatric sleep coach to fully understand the biological and developmental reasons why babies stop sleeping through the night — and to offer tips on how to re-train them when they've fallen off the sleep wagon.
Check for common sleep disruptors.
When babies gain new motor skills such as walking or crawling, their bodies suddenly require more calories to cruise around, which can increase hunger, said Dr. Melissa Burnham, Ph.D., an early childhood researcher at the University of Nevada, Reno. When babies develop these major motor skills, according to Dr. Burnham, they may wake more frequently than they used to because their brains are encouraging them to practice their newfound abilities. "Parents should be prepared and anticipating that at times of major motor milestones, their babies may need more help getting back to sleep," Dr. Burnham said.
Even babies who have been sleeping well for months may begin to wake more once they fall out of their normal routines, such as when visitors are in the house or they're on vacation. In these cases, they may have become used to having parents in the same room as them while snoozing, or they may have gotten used to a later bedtime. Being sick or in pain, such as when a new tooth arrives, or dropping a daily nap can also knock babies off their sleeping schedules.
"When I hear that around 8 months, a baby starts waking up at night," said Johnson, "I can almost guess, 'Did they just drop their third nap?'"
Dr. Kate Williamson, M.D., a pediatrician in California and a spokeswoman for the American Academy of Pediatrics, added that a baby may also start waking more frequently when her breastfeeding mother goes back to work. One reason might be that she's craving more time with Mom, said Dr. Williamson, but it can also be a sign that her mother's milk supply is tanking and she's not getting enough milk during feedings. "A kid who was sleeping beautifully suddenly wants to eat all night," said Dr. Williamson. A weight check at your pediatrician's office can ensure that your baby is getting enough calories to grow on schedule.
Repeat sleep training if needed.
If you realize it's time to re-train your baby to sleep on schedule, think of it as a quick refresher course for his original sleep training — provided he previously learned to soothe himself to sleep. (If he hasn't, it may be harder to train an older infant who has already developed the habit of waking up.)
It'll also be easier the second, third and fourth times around. "Let's say you sleep train for two weeks with a younger baby, then you take a vacation and you come home," said Johnson. "It may only take one to two days for that baby to regain their sleep habits."
The sleep researchers I interviewed recommended that parents stick with the sleep training schedule that worked for them the first time. The only caveat is if your child is closer to 2, he might have more nighttime fears than he did on his first round of sleep training, because of his expanded capacity to imagine scary monsters at night. This may require a new approach, such as using a sticker chart or ensuring his bedroom is free from distractions.
Keep in mind that all sleep training involves some amount of crying, said Dr. Williamson. You can either sleep train by shutting your baby's door and listening from the outside, or by using a more gradual approach by checking in every five or 10 minutes to let him know you're still responding. "Studies have shown that a kid, from a developmental perspective, does fine either way," said Dr. Williamson. But from a parent's view, she said, shutting the door and walking away can be harder psychologically.
If it's not working, don't sweat too much.
Dr. Burnham said that parents often pressure themselves to ensure they're doing the exact right thing. "In this realm, there are so many books and people who have the right way that parents are often confused about what that means for them," said Dr. Burnham. "So here's my big message: Sleep problems are only an issue if they're a problem for the parents."
If your baby is waking frequently throughout the night but it's not especially bothersome to you, especially if you enjoy the extra snuggle time, that's O.K. And if you are someone who needs a lot of sleep, that's O.K. too.
When to Worry
If your baby is not eating or is acting particularly fussy during the day in addition to losing sleep, Dr. Williamson recommended a visit to the pediatrician, as it could signal a health problem that requires a doctor's care. "You do want to make sure you're not missing anything like an ear infection," she said.
Katharine Gammon is a freelance science writer and mom of two preschool-aged boys.
Baby Doing Same Thing Over and Over Again Middle of Night
Source: https://www.nytimes.com/article/sleep-training-regression.html
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